Monthly Archives: December 2020

Happy New Year

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Happy New Year everyone. I imagine like many of you, I am so excited for a new year. I love new beginnings and goal planning that often takes place for me after Christmas. It is a time of reflection of the previous year and what I desire for in 2021.

Over ten years ago I created a strategic plan with a list of my core values. It was part of a recovery workshop I participated in and is something I look at most years or when I am struggling to make a decision. My personal mission statement is:”I will strive for growth, healing and deeper spirituality, where I can connect with the Spirit and others, giving love, grace, and peace to those I meet.” It helps me look at circumstances from a different viewpoint as I focus more on spirituality and giving and receiving love. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12 ESV).

Earlier this week I made a list of areas of growth and blessings in 2020. I think the biggest one is that I am still here. 2020 was a crazy year in so many areas – Covid, heartache everywhere, so much division, fears, financial challenges, etc. Many days I wondered how to carry on in this new reality, and often didn’t measure up to how I wished to be. However, I can see the spiritual growth, leaning on God more as I really had no answers for a lot of things. I spoke truth more into my fears and did a lot of grieving. More time at home, I had more walks, more reading, and felt more comfortable calling friends. Year of spirituality – lots of reading, spiritual growth and 12 step work. On my other goal list, I found a new job, a new church home, and ways to serve in spite of many health challenges. Though I still feel a lot of fear and anxiety, I know I feel more peace when I reach out to my God. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. “Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (John 14:27 ESV).

The reality of my goal planning is that I often get sidetracked, or don’t reach my ideal. However when I take time to reflect, pray and take some action (or inaction if necessary), I am still changing and learning about myself. For me personally, I find it really hard to keep up with all the things that seem necessary in a given day – work, household responsibilities, keeping up with family and friends, errands, exercise, spiritual time, etc. And then…there are the life moments – being ill, someone relapses, a heartbreaking phone call, the dishwasher breaks, no food in the house, I feel depressed, and the list goes on and on. So I still make my list, and let God direct me in doing what I need to do each day. If I don’t hear anything, I try to do the next right thing (which may be going back to bed), or check in with a friend. I aim to keep my priorities, ask for help where I need it, and accept my humanity. I find ways to connect with God, some days through a lot of reading, other days a walk outside, and some days just calling out “help” and receiving the Spirit of love.

My emphasis for 2021 is being more connected with others in some new groups, being of service, cleaning my closet and having more fun. Often these things will overlap, such as calling a friend while organizing the closet, doing a service group, or doing a fun activity in a group. I sure hope to get back to playing racquetball. I tend to be optimistic when I plan ahead, but I will also remember to take a pause if needed as new people can bring fears and fatigue.

What makes life beautiful is the combination of the new beginnings, the strength from life’s experiences and challenges, the relationships on the path, and holding onto the Rock of my God. Whatever the year brings for me I will trust that I can connect with my God a little deeper and as I risk in relationships I will build some beautiful friendships and memories. When I am able to both give and receive, there is a unity that forms as we are all created equally and need each other in order to heal and flourish.
“With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2-3 ESV).

I pray that the beginning of 2021 brings you the hope of the Christmas season. May you find what brings you the light, and people to walk with you. If you don’t hear any clear answers, sometimes the silence can bring us to people that open the doors. Sending you love and blessings. “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety” (Proverbs 11:14 ESV).

Elissa Noble

2020 Christmas Poem

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2020, What a year
A time of change, a time of fear
So much death, so much grief
It is hard to hope, hard to believe
People alone, families are poor
Loss of work, masks in stores
Beliefs divide, so much hate
So much confusion, a lot at stake
I look for answers, I look for cures
I search for leaders, to make me secure
When I turn to look at the light
When I surrender, and give up the fight
I find what matters, I see the dream
A place of unity, of what is unseen
I see the star that lights the way
Peace and joy, to give each day
I trust in a God, that is here
To give me grace, to show he’s near
Wherever I’ve done, wherever I’ve been
The Spirit of God, can live within
May you find a hope, this Christmas week,
As you look for the star, and find what you seek
May you find the blessings of the light
The love, the grace, and beauty in sight
Merry Christmas and a Happy new year
To all I love and hold dear.

 

Christmas Poem

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I wrote this poem in 2015 when I was reading Zachariah’s Song at church. It is a great reflection of the meaning of the Christmas story. A beautiful reflection of hope, freedom and grace. I wish you all a meaningful Holiday season, where love and hope abounds.

Today I reflect on Christmas, as I read Zachariah’s song,
A message of hope, that allows us to be strong;
Jesus came to teach, the path that saves,
That brings freedom, from the darkness of the grave;
He brought mercy, from the rising sun,
To shine His light, on what has been shun;
In the shadow of death, He brings us peace,
Providing hope, that will not cease;
Whenever you are, wherever you have been,
There is always hope, a love without end;
May we walk this road, with a light that shines,
Being present to others, a nature that’s kind;
May this season remind us, of what is true,
It’s about mercy, a love that’s new;
I send you blessings, that’s dear to my heart,
May the light shine around you, like a rising star.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year.

Elissa Noble

 

Finding Joy in the Season

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As much as I wish to fully embrace the Christmas season, I find as much sorrow in the Holiday as I find joy.  I can feel internal pressure to feel and act a certain way that doesn’t always match my state of being.  The expectations of being loving, building smokeprecious memories, having enough money, and seeing everyone I care about can be overwhelming at times, especially when I compare to what I think others are doing.  I can believe that I am inadequate, different, or missing the mark somehow.  Add the spiritual pressures, and I can think that somehow my God isn’t taking care of me.  Often the Holiday can appear to be a Holiday meant for the privileged.  Those with a large family, good health, money to spend and beautiful homes decorated with all the festivities and smell of Christmas cookies.  It is easy to get lost in what I am supposed to be and sometimes miss the greater meaning.

Earlier this year, I remember in a moment of despair praying “I just want to be happy”.  I felt exhausted trying to handle my own emotions, physical pain and fatigue, and keeping up with the priorities in my life.  It was hard for me to understand how regardless of how often I prayed and sought my God, the struggle seemed to continue and my underlying anxiety wasn’t lifted.  I wanted to believe that if I did the right things and connected with God, that life would at least internally get easier.

Fortunately there are many moments in which I can find joy.  When I have heard happy news – prayers being answered, friends calling at the right time, spiritual and relational connections, I can do a happy dance.  Sometimes the joy is over the simple things, such as making a good shot in a racquetball game, seeing my team win, a great cup of coffee, or finding my way when I am lost.  This year alone I recognize the gifts – a new job, financial gifts from friends, free books, walks in nature, two wonderful daughters that continue to amaze me, less pain with my Purple mattress and friends getting sober.  I am grateful that I see the blessings, and how they become interwoven in my story and God’s plan for my life.

The truth is the joy I find in the Spirit and with my Savior is there when I am grieving losses AND experiences the blessings of life.  Often the two are intertwined with my God in the middle of the complexities of my circumstances.  I can find my God’s love when I take in the presence, and the Spirit’s wisdom to get me through my day.  I can have hope as I continue to bring my concerns and brokenness before my Savior, that healing comes. In the midst of the struggles, I find joy in connecting with others and my God and looking for the gold that is in this path.  The joy of the Savior isn’t denying the heartache around me, but seeing that sometimes I need to just stop and grieve my losses and receive grace and compassion that is waiting for me – through a book, nature, a sermon, the Bible, a friend, or the gentle whisper of God.

The Christmas story as I understand it is about a young mother giving birth during many unknowns and hardships.  She lost her reputation as being an unwed mother, and perhaps lost many friends and family members. I don’t know much about her extended family as they are absent in the Biblical accounts, and don’t appear to be part of the story.  There was no mention of support (or planning) for their journey to Jerusalem or when giving birth to Jesus as He was born with the animals.  The Shepherds are the ones who the Lord brought to see Him in the Manger.  She put her trust in Joseph and the messages of God and angels, in spite of her circumstances. After Jesus’ birth things went from hard, to much greater horror as Herod the Great, king of Judea, orders the execution of all male children two years old and under in the vicinity of Bethlehem.  As she is celebrating the birth of the Savior, others are devastated to have their newborn babies killed.  Grief and hope are webbed into the story.

Today, I hope that I can rest assured of the real joy that is in the Christmas story.  A joy that can’t be shaken by circumstances, and isn’t about what my feelings are in the moment.  It is based on the truth of the Savior, the Gift of Jesus, and a Faith in what is not always seen. Though I many not understand all of the sadness, death and suffering in this world, the Christmas story brings a Savior to Worship, a God to be praised, a joy like no other. The unexpected happens – God brings people into the story that I could never imagine, to bring a miracle for us all.

Grace and Peace,

Elissa Noble