Author Archives: MUMC admin

Pay Attention

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I don’t particularly like when someone says to me “Pay Attention”, because I am often unaware of how much I miss around me and it can feel like a judgment.  However my daily life is filled with things I am focused on, often this can be thinking about the past, or planning my future where I miss out what is in front of me.

In one of my meditation books, it talks about focusing on your step when walking.  In order to try to ingrain something in my head, I often keep rereading a page until the concepts come to life.  I have been reading this for weeks in the morning, and for some reason, I still don’t remember to meditate on the steps I take.  This is actually pretty hard.

There are many times when I am having a conversation where I hear something and pause because I realize how important the comment was.  Comments like:  “something feels off,” “I can’t connect with God now,” “I am so excited,” etc.  We all want to be known and heard, and usually this takes place when I least expect it.  Paying attention is in the everyday conversations and experiences.  It always starts with what is in front of me.

Paying attention to the Spirit is different for everyone, and can show up for me in different ways.  At times it is clear, I pray for something, and a path opens up, resources come, and I start down the road.  This has happened several times where I write something in my God box or say a prayer, and even though the answer came in a weird way, it feels clear and can keep me on the path when it gets challenging.  Circumstances can guide me, someone I love is sick, and I want to be present with them and help as needed.  Other times I don’t really hear much, and move in the path of love.  Sometimes the path of love, is to be in the stillness and not take on new activities, a period of healing and restoration in my current relationships.

Probably the most challenging in hearing the Spirit for me is staying in truth.  There are so many voices in my head that I have to ignore – “you can’t do it, you will fail, it can’t be done, why you”, that can just be crazy making.  Another lie can be when I am trying to fix, control or do something for someone in the way I think will help, so I feel better.  Saying the serenity prayer can be helpful, give me acceptance of what I can’t change, courage where I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

The last year has given me some new challenges and opportunities.  I have seen shifts in some relationships and circumstances and though this can bring grief when things end, it also opens the door to new things.  It can be hard to tell if the challenges are telling me to make changes, or something I just sit through.  However, Paying Attention, allows me to see more clearly, be more open, and have more resources and wisdom for the situations at hand.  It also helps me be aware of my own internal dialogue and emotions that impact my actions, and gives me some space to hear the Sprit at work in my life and that of others.

Showing Up and Being Present

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Our church, our community and our world is constantly changing and facing new challenges.  It can be hard to keep up with it all and not feel discouraged, and want to zone out to what is around me.  Watching the increased violence, religious extremist and oppression is painful and can leave me feeling confused in how to make an impact and be part of the solution.

This summer we welcomed our new Pastor, Rev. Heather Riggs.  It is a pleasure to hear her energy and love for our church and community, and look forward to learning more about her.  She is preaching a series that starts with a simple concept: “Show Up.” To go where the people are and to give peace and healing, showing that God’s love is with us.

Being loving and kind is an energy that brings light and healing and unites people together.  I see how a genuine compliment, a warm touch, a smile or someone reaching out can empower me to do the same to others.  When I pause and listen, I feel more connected to others, and expand my understanding.

I have become more aware recently of how short staffed we are in many of our service positions and have to constantly pause and be kind to the person on the front end.  Hospitals, restaurants, and retail stores are just a few examples.  I can easily be frustrated when I hear things like it will take 8 months to get your car part, 4 months for a needed Dr. appointment, 8 hour wait in the emergency room or an hour wait for a table at a restaurant.  This can be more complicated and scary when dealing with services related to housing, mental health and addiction services.  Sadly the waiting list for these are long, often months and maybe years to receive essential services.

I don’t know the answers to some of these complicated situations, but it does begin with love and being present.  If as a community we continue to show up and unite together, we will have more resources and find more solutions. I can allow the Spirit to work in my own life to bring healing and light, and be open to learning from everyone God puts in my path.

Power of Words part 2

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The Power of Words is a dynamic that is created through the interaction of the speaker and the listener.  For the truest meaning to be absorbed it needs to be a direct conversation with people both desiring to communicate clearly and to hear one another.

Last week, I had a situation where I was trying to figure out a simple request for a lunch event my daughter was planning on attending.  Through our conversation we realized the information my daughter received from A was received from a conversation from B from a conversation with C and possibly came from a conversation with D.  So my daughter had no idea what the actual event was.  I suggested she bi-pass the chain, and after a good laugh, she went to the source and was able to make a plan.

Though this event was extreme, with layers of complexity, it really showed me how often I go an indirect route to get information.  And the danger with this is that each time the information is communicating, it brings in the experiences and reactions of the parties involved, and a little bit of the information might change, or parts might be left out.  So not only does the information get skewed, but sometimes meanings are associated with the Words that aren’t always there.  The Words aren’t always negative, but can create problems when we are trying to understand a situation.

There are lots of scriptures on the Words we speak, and the dangers of not telling the truth.  A couple of warning include: Proverbs 25:18 “Telling lies about others is as harmful as hitting them with an ax, wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow.” And Proverbs 21:23 “Whosoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” I tend to think of these verses as applying when I am emotionally wired and  don’t want to say something harmful, but I should also keep them in mind when I retell a story that is not mine to share, claim my reactions as the truth, and when I don’t really listen to the information clearly to have a true response.

It often begins with awareness and intent, and I pray that I continue to really listen to the Words of others, and be more careful at the Words I speak.  It is important for me to pay attention to all the other thoughts and feelings that come to mind, as this can be part of my healing journey related to past experience, yet in the moment, I must try to stay in the truth of the moment, and with a heart of openness and love.

Grace and Truth
Elissa Noble
MUMC Office Manager

The Power of Words (part 1)

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At the beginning of the year one of my goals was to be better at communicating. Learning how to deal with my emotions and speak words of kindness and compassion can be difficult at times, especially in close relationships, when there is a conflict of interest or I feel slighted. I have been praying about this, reading books, meditating, etc, but it often feels like I have a long way to go.

Growing up, communication was lacking. I can’t really recall too many conversations that helped me navigate life, and often was filled with fear – fear of my parents and God. This created an anxiety I can’t ever recall not having. The flight or fright syndrome was a coping mechanism that doesn’t really work today. Learning how to communicate better is the essence of all relationships. When the communication is gone, connection dies out, and this can create a feeling of being alone.

The Power of God’s words is evident in scripture. Psalm 119:105 “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Matthew 4:4 “But He answered, ‘It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” God’s words bring light, direction, life and nourishment to us. The whole universe was created by the words of the Spirit. As I look around at creation, I can be reminded of the words that brought beauty and wholeness, a gift I can embrace each day.

This is a journey, not a destination. I pray today that I will take in the beauty around me and remember the words that speak love into my spirit.  In many ways this is the first step, receive the love of my creator and allow it to penetrate deep into my soul.

Blessings and Light,
Elissa Noble (Office Manager)

The Space Between

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One of the more challenging things for me is sitting in the space between where I see what I want to be, yet find myself miles away.  This is especially true when I am circled in my own triggers, resentments and insecurities.  As I work on my own inner healing, I have to trust in a God who is with me in this space.  “Where could I run from your Spirit?  Where could I flee from your presence?” Psalm 139:7.

Last year, I started an intentional meditation practice.  I began doing a loving kindness and forgiveness mediation in the morning to bring more awareness to my own suffering and that of others.  To bring to mind that which blocks me from loving myself and others.  I have seen a shift where I can see more clearly the common struggles which gets me out of my own sense of isolation.  “Allow you to embrace yourself with forgiveness.  Let yourself be loved.  Let yourself be love.” (Stephen Levine). This was extremely helpful for me in sitting with feelings that come up in my father’s declining health and in conflicts in relationships that come up with Covid and other challenges in life. The meditations open my heart and I felt connected with God and the universe in a deeper way.  Sometimes during the meditation, I couldn’t be present and this also showed me that I was in a tough place and being gentle with myself would be important.

When my father passed away about a month ago, I wasn’t really sure how to process the grief.  It is complicated and I don’t always know how to touch the places that feel numb.  I was able to be with him during the last few months on hospice and with him when he took his last breath.  This was healing, hearing him say “I love you” and me voicing the same.  I was able to enter a place of deeper intimacy.  After his death, I listened to hymns and went through photos.  Music has a way of taking me to the heart.  I focused on a mercy meditation and started playing a song in my car on forgiveness.  I have found playing a song on repeat, allows it to ring in my head all day, which is a powerful healing tool.  The song “Losing” by Tenth Avenue North has been playing in my car since his death.  I pray for forgiveness for myself and others. “Oh Father, give me grace to forgive them cause I feel like the one losin”….”This is love or this is hate…We gotta choice to make”

I see how my own resentments just keep me lost, and in anger that often comes out towards those I love.  Forgiveness is really about letting go of the the pain I carry as best as I can so I can love others.  It allows me to change more freely when I love myself and I am more apt to be effective in making change when I look at my own pain directly and use it to connect with others.

I am grateful for a God who is wanting to bring healing in the space between.  That sits with me when I don’t like my feelings or my actions, who forgives me, so I can open the doors for others.  I pray this love can help me reach out to others, often the the harder the fall, the greater the need for self forgiveness, all of us need this and is what makes the closest relationships possible.  “Behold, I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”  Rev 3:20

In God’s grace,
Elissa Noble, Office Manager

Grace Frees and Unites Us

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I love to reflect on grace. It calms my soul and gives me purpose for living and for all my experiences. Grace frees and unites.

Why do I ignore this grace and listen to the lies? Somehow I believe that what I have isn’t good enough. I worry that if I give it away and it isn’t received that there is something wrong with me. Life is full of many opportunities to get lost in the interruptions and find other ways to live that are about hard work, proving my worth, and finding happiness. Finding joy and purpose are good things, but without receiving grace, I miss out on an internal love and peace that shapes all my connections.

Receiving grace doesn’t always seem simple to me. Often I experience it when I take a risk and make mistakes or through conflict with other people. I learn to give myself compassion and pray for wisdom in the next step. I find when I am kind to myself, I want more to be kind to others. In my humanity I become more humble before my God. This can give me courage to break down the walls with my fellows and go deeper in conversations. My fears and struggles can be a bridge to bring me to the Spirit and to others in my community. Often I see them as barriers in my life, yet without them, I wouldn’t have experienced God’s grace.

The beauty of the shared journey

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Some days it is very hard to see the beauty in what is going on around me. People close to me are declining in health, struggling with addictions and mental illness, and so much conflict everywhere it can be exhausting. I often feel overwhelmed, sad and anxious, as I try to deal with circumstances and compounded grief. Seeing a newborn baby, a beautiful blue sky and the leaves changing bring light into my world. It is easy to find the blessings in the amazing creation and indescribable blessings.

The blessing and beauty of growth though is harder for me to sit with. Often the growth and the character traits I desire come out of the hardships of life. Not the perceived hardships where I am comparing myself to others, and feel deprived because I don’t have what I want, but the hardships where pain is unbearable, whether emotional or physical, or the moments where I feel like I am sitting still and powerless to help others or myself in human suffering.

The human story is a combination of the environmental beauty and the beauty within all of us. It is a story where our paths connect and create something new and more profound than our individual stories. We see our common struggles and joys, and give each other hope and love. We can find the blessings in our physical environment of the beauty created by others, as well as the beauty created by a God that loves us. Even in the middle of the brokenness and pollution of our city, there is a God that is greater and exists in the air we breathe and the water that brings life. May I hold on to Life and Love. Elissa

Making my Circle Wider

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Today as I was doing a forgiveness meditation, I physically felt a lessening of my physical pain in my back. I sat for a moment, feeling the Spirit at work in me, opening my heart to the people I love. I could feel this forgiveness for a person that had hurt me (intentionally or unintentionally) and for myself for causing hurt to other people.

When I open my heart to the Spirit and healing, I open myself up to more people around me. My experience is that I can be intentional about creating space and spending time in the spiritual dimension with a personal God, but often the healing is a dimension where the spirit brings a new type of restoration. Forgiveness is an ongoing process, and something I have sought from a pretty young age. It is layers and layers of woundedness often so complicated that I can’t grasp the impact, and don’t see how it builds up to create walls where I shut others out and allow self destructive habits in. For some reason, the ability to forgive myself and others is something that brings unity and peace. This is perhaps why Jesus emphasizes God’s grace in forgiving us, so we can be freer to love and forgive others.

Immediately after feeling this amazingly healing moment, I felt a desire to reach out to some people around me. I pray that I will hold onto this moment, where I can remember the grace given to me, and want to share this freedom and love with those around me.

In Grace and Light, Elissa

The Living Water

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I have been planning on blogging on Pastor Becca’s series on the Spirit at the same time as she was preaching.  I have created a new section on the web to reflect on her sermons called Wisdom and Faith (under Worship tab) so those who want some inspiration could have a place to go. It can become discouraging in this pandemic to be in this space of endurance without a clear vision of what the future might entail.  Though I can’t always see the path, I find hope in connecting with the Spirit.

Regardless of what is going on in life, the living water rejuvenates me.  Just as taking a shower revives and cleans me, sipping the living water revives and cleans my soul.  In my day to day life, I often don’t reflect on the amount of water I take. I take sips of water throughout my day, and it is often part of the foods I eat.  Generally I might be falling short of what my body needs, and choose to live with less nourishment and energy than is available to me.

My spiritual intake has a similar impact.  In the morning, I spent some time before my God in mediation, reading and journaling.  Throughout the day however, I can get lost in my activities and anxieties, that I don’t see nearly as much of God’s living water that I am surrounded by.  I can see it in nature and the beauty around me, but I truly only see a spec of the life that is waiting for me.

I pray today, I might slow down to see a little more of that living water.  As I enjoy the rain outside, I also find the spirit inside of me and in you.  May I continue to find ways to fit in the water I drink into my daily life, so I can be reminded of the gifts freely given that bring healing, peace and restoration to all that is broken.

In Spirit and Life,
Elissa

Finding Rest in the Challenges of Life

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Many days I feel overwhelmed by the demands and expectations I put upon myself to do and be all that I think I should. Even when much of life seems good and blessed, there are always triggers and emotions that come up that bring out the broken pieces of who I am and my own insecurities. I see so much need and people I wish to connect with, I can get lost in it all, and frozen in place.

It is the foundation of my faith, that gives me a sense of grounding and space to process where God is at work in my life. I can often see various focuses in certain seasons of my life, and areas where God is stretching me to surrender more, accept more grace, and bring God into places where I keep trying to work through on my own.

This year I have been focusing a lot on my health. Making long forgotten doctor appointments, eating better and intensifying my exercise routines. I notice with exercise that there is a balance in keeping a routine, pushing myself some, and giving myself rest. When I keep a routine, I am more likely to exercise and fit it into my schedule. When I push myself beyond my current capabilities then I see my body strengthen and change, and my fitness level improve. If I do too much or injure something, I have to modify and do different things awhile to let myself heal. The rest allows me to recover, especially after a hard day.

In my spiritual journey, it is also a process of striving for growth and transformation. My morning time with God is very precious to me, and allows me to read, reflect and take in God’s wisdom and love. I feel myself being pushed into many different areas, as I strive to find a balance where I don’t crash and burn. I see how my God is strengthening me in a lot of areas, as I enter new territory, and still bringing up past issues that need healing and grace. As I walk in relationships with others, vulnerability and honesty can bring up insecurities, it is also the place I receive love, wisdom and forgiveness of my own humanity. Just as in exercising, where injuries can be part of the game, I have setbacks and have to create protections for a time in some places that are just too weak to carry the load. Rest is crucial, where I take time to just be, listen to my God, and hear the Holy Spirit at work.

Even with all the challenges of this life, I am so grateful that God’s grace is so much greater. When I look and watch for the light, I find something new. Today, I will listen for God’s voice and Spirit in what lies before me. What is my next step? Is there something I need to let go of? What are the gifts I am to receive? Where am I to pause? Who should I reach out to today?

May God’s grace guide us as we walk this journey together!
Elissa