Many days I feel overwhelmed by the demands and expectations I put upon myself to do and be all that I think I should. Even when much of life seems good and blessed, there are always triggers and emotions that come up that bring out the broken pieces of who I am and my own insecurities. I see so much need and people I wish to connect with, I can get lost in it all, and frozen in place.
It is the foundation of my faith, that gives me a sense of grounding and space to process where God is at work in my life. I can often see various focuses in certain seasons of my life, and areas where God is stretching me to surrender more, accept more grace, and bring God into places where I keep trying to work through on my own.
This year I have been focusing a lot on my health. Making long forgotten doctor appointments, eating better and intensifying my exercise routines. I notice with exercise that there is a balance in keeping a routine, pushing myself some, and giving myself rest. When I keep a routine, I am more likely to exercise and fit it into my schedule. When I push myself beyond my current capabilities then I see my body strengthen and change, and my fitness level improve. If I do too much or injure something, I have to modify and do different things awhile to let myself heal. The rest allows me to recover, especially after a hard day.
In my spiritual journey, it is also a process of striving for growth and transformation. My morning time with God is very precious to me, and allows me to read, reflect and take in God’s wisdom and love. I feel myself being pushed into many different areas, as I strive to find a balance where I don’t crash and burn. I see how my God is strengthening me in a lot of areas, as I enter new territory, and still bringing up past issues that need healing and grace. As I walk in relationships with others, vulnerability and honesty can bring up insecurities, it is also the place I receive love, wisdom and forgiveness of my own humanity. Just as in exercising, where injuries can be part of the game, I have setbacks and have to create protections for a time in some places that are just too weak to carry the load. Rest is crucial, where I take time to just be, listen to my God, and hear the Holy Spirit at work.
Even with all the challenges of this life, I am so grateful that God’s grace is so much greater. When I look and watch for the light, I find something new. Today, I will listen for God’s voice and Spirit in what lies before me. What is my next step? Is there something I need to let go of? What are the gifts I am to receive? Where am I to pause? Who should I reach out to today?
May God’s grace guide us as we walk this journey together!
Elissa
